Sunday, November 14, 2004

ancient? old?

I'm sitting here in front of the computer because I can't sleep... must be due to the many coca-colas I had at Yoshi and JP's apartment tonight (plus the tea before that!) I'm supposed to wake up around 5am to go and fish for abalone with the family... ooh I reckon it's going to be painful! Is it from ageing?

Hanging out at Brando's after Young Adults on Friday night, the conversation topic that came up time and time again was about being "ancient" and "old"... I think it was probably cuz we all celebrated a guy's 25th birthday and everyone else from the group are mainly between the age of 18-21. Gosh I thought (and declared out loud), I was being catergorised under the "ancient and old" heading... how horrific!

Like Ruth, I have been finding myself thinking about turning the age of twenty-five. I guess there are definitive years in our lives... Age 18 - you can get your permanent ID card in HK, you're officially considered an adult, you get to vote, you can start driving a car, and for me it was the year I went to uni. Age 21 - gee I don't know, but it's the year you throw the biggest party, I guess that makes you even more of an adult, and for me that was the year I graduated from uni and started my first permanent job. Age 25 - I get the impression that people are expecting great things to happen once you reach this age, like have a true calling (area you really like to work, commit yourself in), have a special relationship with someone, be extremely independent, earn packets of money, to be focused (or at least look semi like that).

The reality for me... a girl asked me on Friday night how I felt about not being in a relationship (after the age question). At first I was a little taken back cuz I had only met her about 20 mins before, but as I answered her I felt that I was being reaffirmed - that I was secure about myself and with my relationship with God that I wouldn't dare add a relationship in my life that would compromise that situation. I had done it before when I was extremely insecure and just needed lots of physical contact (in my first and second year of uni) in the end I was almost shattered emotionally and spiritually, and I probably hurt many people in the process. Sure I'd love to be in a relationship, perhaps find the man and get married, but it's alright for now. After finding out that I wasn't going to be doing speech pathology next year, I was initially pretty bummed. And as I talked to other people about my situation concerning my future, I was inspired (thanks Liz K + Asti), so I put my foot down and applied to do the graduate diploma course in primary education next year. I have to thank Joe and Katie who were my angels that checked my personal statement I had to hand in. I have yet to know the result... but I feel that I have put my fear of rejection back, and stepped out in faith, and I'm at peace about it. I can't control my life, there are too many factors that I can't grasp, all I can do is surrender. I believe that my God will be able to handle it just fine! As for turning twenty-five... I'm really looking forward to it! It's going to heaps of fun! (what's the point in using anti-ageing creams when you can't see the difference on young baby skin?! - it's a challenge!)

1 comment:

ruthjanine said...

yep ann - i'm looking forward to turning 25 as well - and yes i also get the "wow and you don't have a boyfriend" from the teenagers, but it's great to tell them that God is in control and therefore it's not an issue or concern :) I'm looking forward to your paarrrtttaeee