Monday, August 09, 2004

in the eye of the storm

Been in Perth for almost 6 months now... quite a scary thought! At the moment, my family is starting to settle into Perth life. Our new house is now in the process of being renovated. Mom is getting used to long distance driving and reading street maps. Dad is a little more relaxed now that mom's in town. My sister has already anchored herself a job at Subway. Only now do I begin to have a deeper ambition to go back into the workforce and also go back to school.

Time and time again, people have asked me what I've been doing with my time, and I've been answering quite honestly... 'not much' (as in nothing spectacularly exciting). It's pretty shocking for some people, especially people who are used to constantly doing something (like life at HK pace). Perhaps I haven't been totally honest, I have been doing things, just not what people think as major things if you get my drift... I've been cleaning the house; cooking; washing laundry; being a tour guide taking mom and Sarah around town; hanging out with my cousins and my family; going to church - which I love; etc.

People also keep asking me when I'm going to be driving by myself, when I'm going to get a job, when I'm going to go back to uni... so many questions, that even I don't know how to explain. I'd describe my current mode as stationery yet prepared to accelerate. Although the external happenings in my life look rather stationery or clueless as some may like to call it, I find myself itching to move... Itching to move, yet not knowing where to step towards. I know that God has given me a purpose for my life. And I also know that there are dream thieves that would like to snatch the purpose and dream away from me. Robert Ferguson from Hillsongs spoke about 2 weeks ago at church about the topic and it really hit home for me. I found myself challenging my own motives & attitudes, I really want them to be approved by God. I don't want me to be the obstruction to my life purpose. Sometimes I get frustrated and I cry, cuz I want to move, I want to do things, I want to go places, but I feel grounded. I have to be honest with myself... I'm not perfect. Recently on many occasions I have felt God smiling at me when I have been so annoyed and irritated at things and the wise words "Patience, my dear!" keep coming up! Haha believe you me, I am learning...

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